True Friendships...

A conversation I have been having on and off with a friend about true friendships. We both are on the same page about always wanting to include everyone that it hurts that much more when we are not invited to things or when someone doesn't bring their "A- Game" in being your friend.

This is something that I have really been dealing with over this summer, especially this past month with my surgery and some situations that have taken place. I have struggled with it for years but it has finally hit a deeper meaning the past few weeks and I am beginning to understand it. The other night I was reading John 2 (for the Daniel Fast we are reading the book of John one chapter a day) and verse 24 really spoke to me. "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men." And it continues on, but what I really got is that no one can fully satisfy us, we can not fully trust anyone and that He is the only one that will not let us down. I know it is a lot easier to say but I've had a really rough time with friends lately and I've prayed about it and have kind of left it up to Him and now I am comforted by the fact that this is one less thing I have to hurt and feel bad about. I continue to pray about it and I know that it will still be a struggle, but much less of a struggle. I used to want to be true friends with everyone and always wanted to be invited to things and always invited people to things but now I realize how much better life is when you have true friends around and plan time to spend with them, real deep friendships not just friendships on the surface. And I feel like that is what God intended our relationships to be like.
It is also hard, when do you know when a friendship has hit its last leg? Unfortunately I have learned you just have to let it go. Some are definetly a lot easier than others and I realize some friendships I really want to keep in my life but for some reason or other they are wavering and as much as it scares me to lose them, I feel comforted that things happen for a reason.

So it begins...

I am writing this with the thought that no one else will ever read this, but who knows I ought to be careful because I might be suprised. I always used to use a journal to keep up with my thoughts and whats really sad is that with technology now, its very hard for me to sit down and actually get everything from my head onto paper. It has been a very interesting past month of Summer for me. Started off with my hip surgery on July 16th... which will probably turn into its own post at some point... I got baptised on August 10th (along with 1043 others at Elevation!! which will be another post too), I took a vacation to Charleston, SC and at the same time one of my good friends Sarah & Thomas got married.
I feel like the excitement isn't stopping any time soon either. Elevation is starting its 3rd campus this Sunday (8/24) at McGlohon Theatre in spirit square. Ever since pastor announced the new campus I have been completely excited for the new opportunity. I also have a personal tie to Loonis McGlohon (who the theatre is named after) as he went to the church I grew up with and was close friends with my parents. I am lucky to be able to switch from Providence to Uptown eventhough I am leaving my Ekidz which is going to be very hard :( This past week one of the rambunctious boys stopped and said "You look like a Princess" and a few weeks passed a little girl referred to me as "Miss America" (miss jessica... they sound similar, right?!) Anyways it is going to be hard to leave them behind but hopefully I can work it out to where I still see them a few times a month.
I feel like I have never been more happier or content with my life, which is kind of odd becuase I feel like I have a few things that I would like to see drastically changed. I think it means my heart is finally getting to the right place and ready for what God has in store for me. I think it still might be a ways away but things have to be better than they were a few years ago. The next 21 days is going to be a time of focusing on prayer and what God has done for us and what he is going to do in the future. We are doing the Daniel Fast (I need to do some more research on it before I attempt to explain) but it's basically giving up all animal products (meats, dairy, fats, sugar). When I say the word fast I immediately think of "not eating for... 21 days" but knowing that I get to eat fruits, veggies, nuts, and whole grain foods it puts a different twist on it. It is going well so far and it is just about 48 hours down. It has made me start to cook (what is this with rice cooking for 50 minutes?!) and be more careful about what I am eating, which is something I need to be doing anyways. Wednesday night some girls from small group and I are going to cook so maybe I will get a little more creative then!